MOM  (in the above photo she's the little cutie on the far left)


My mom begins her 10th decade of life today as she turns 90. There are no words for trying to explain her impact on me as a result of the depth of her love. I am attempting to merely scratch the surface of giving her the honor that she is due on this milestone birthday.

Greta (Drenth) Vail is the eight child of ten, born to Jacob and Bessie Drenth on March 15, 1923. In her years she has experienced much pain and sadness as she has outlived her parents, her siblings, her husband, a daughter-in-law and a grand child. Despite these losses, she lives her life in joy, thankful for the many blessings that God has, indeed, sent her way. She has continues to model a “Christ like” life even as she has so gracefully aged.

How can we quantify the impact that her life has had on this world? The totality of this impact is known only by her heavenly Father. For a humble woman who rarely left the general area of her home, her impact on the world is/will continue to be amazing. My sisters and I are lucky enough to be her offspring, but her life has impacted so many more lives and will for generations to come. She remains a genuine model of faithfulness to her Lord, her husband, her children, her grandchildren, nieces, nephews and her friends. Everyday she continues to teach those of us who know her lessons of love, faith, humility, servant hood, charity, humor, hope, family, devotion, gentleness, conviction, optimism, wholesomeness, kindness and so much more. These lessons, as she has taught them, will continue for generations. It is said that ones “reputation” in life becomes your “legacy” in death. I believe my mothers “legacy” will be one that is impossible to live up to but held as an example to strive for.

Following are a few “random memories” that I have from my life time with Mom:
• How easily she faints
• Cherry picking
• Ordering school clothes from the Spiegel catalog
• Bare butt spankings when I was especially naughty
• Getting us all up during thunderstorms
• Playing caroms + rook + yahtzee + dominoes + . . .
• All her other somewhat strange games
• Home made ice cream
• Home made pajamas for Christmas
• Hamburgers or barb-b-ques every Saturday night
• Her support of me playing basketball
• Cleaning the Hawley’s and Saultenstall’s houses
• Volunteering at church and Christian school activities all the time
• Loving and helping with Julie when she was so small and weak
• Helping us do homework
• Canning veggies and fruit
• Driving to Atwood in “low” gear in our first car with an automatic tranny
• Admitting to me, after I had admitted to her that I snuck out to a movie, that she had done that also in her youth.
• Her devotion to Marcie while she was in the hospital with a broken neck
• Her being such a great grandmother to our children
• Her being there for me to cry on and with when Carol died
• Her screaming nightmares
• Her intentional hospitality
• Knit hangers
• Importance of family
• Having garage sales
• Trying to get us out of bed on school mornings
• Making doughnuts on Saturday afternoons
• Staining and varnishing her new cabinets when Carol was “newly” pregnant with Amy
• A car accident or two
• On and on and on . . .

Thank you Mom, for being there for me so completely all my years!
LOVE FOREVER


following is a poem i found . . .

Her Hands

© Maggie Pittman
Her hands held me gently from the day I took my first breath.
Her hands helped to guide me as I took my first step.
Her hands held me close when the tears would start to fall.
Her hands were quick to show me that she would take care of it all.

Her hands were there to brush my hair, or straighten a wayward bow.
Her hands were often there to comfort the hurts that didn't always show.
Her hands helped hold the stars in place, and encouraged me to reach.
Her hands would clap and cheer and praise when I captured them at length.

Her hands would also push me, though not down or in harms way.
Her hands would punctuate the words, just do what I say.
Her hands sometimes had to discipline, to help bend this young tree.
Her hands would shape and mold me into all she knew I could be.

Her hands are now twisting with age and years of work,
Her hand now needs my gentle touch to rub away the hurt.
Her hands are more beautiful than anything can be.
Her hands are the reason I am me.

Source: Her Hands, Mother Poem http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/her-hands#ixzz2NFySJQjn
www.FamilyFriendPoems.com

What Does God's Positive Voice Say About You?
It seems that in this life put downs come easily. Whether intended or not, we are often made to feel small by those around us, even our “loved ones”. Most often this occurs unintentionally, I’m sure, but many times it is done with a hurtful intent.

"It's a dog eat dog world, Woody and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear”, as this quote from Norm Peterson in the TV show “Cheers” puts it, people seem to be out to make our lives more difficult. Others, for the most part, really don’t care that much about us or our feelings. Some seem to have evil intent but some, I suppose, are merely too tied up in their own problems to consider the effects on others. Many days it seems like the only one we can count on for support and encouragement is ourselves. Unfortunately, after existing like that for awhile the ability to lift ourselves out of the pits becomes less and less effective. Depression, self esteem issues, hopelessness, etc are the result. This is not a pleasant picture, I know.

Some time ago, I came across this particular grouping of scripture texts under the heading of:

“What Does God's Positive Voice Say About You?”

• You are the light of the world (Matthew 5:14)

• You are a child of God (John 1:12)

• You are part of the true vine, a channel of Christ's
love (John 15:1,5)

• You are Christ's friend (John 15:15)

• You are reconciled to God and a minister of his
reconciliation (2Corinthians 5:18-19)

• You are a saint (1Corinthians 1:2; Ephesians 1:1;
Philippians 1:1)

• You are chosen of God, holy and dearly loved
(Colossians 3:12; 1Thessalonians 1:4)

These words are such a joy to me. These words are like receiving life giving water in middle of a journey through Death Valley. I keep them at my finger tips and refer back to them time and time again for reassurance. This is what God, the creator and sustainer of this world, thinks about me - I am His child; I am valued by the only one who really knows the true value of everything. I cannot be loved any more or any less by God based on what others think of me or think that I am. God knows me and has chosen me. I love that about my God, sure He admonishes me, but he is a God of Love, of encouragement, of reconciliation, of glory. His is the only opinion that matters, and His voice, in scripture, says I’m chosen. Grace!

My prayer is that you know this God of grace and that you can believe with me that what these texts say is what is said of you.

“You are . . . .”

CAN’T CALL MOM

I love my mom. My family and I are extremely blest to have mom, now nearly 89 years old, still with us. Some other time I intend to write a nice tribute to mom and how much she’s meant to all of us for so many years but today I just have one simple thought (basically all my thoughts are simple). That is how much I take being able to talk to my mom for granted. I try to call her at least once a week and we try to get to see her two or three times a month but heaven knows I should call her more often. I know that when she hears from any of us it brightens her day immensely. My excuse often is that by the time I can call it’s too late in the day, or it’s been so busy that the week day/nights fly by, etc. The thing that I think I’m missing in all of this is how much I need to talk to mom too. After talking to her I feel better too. She’s still my mom and I’m still her little Freddy.
So here’s the thing I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. My children don’t have this opportunity any more. They can’t call their mom and talk. Every time I think of this fact I get angry, sad, depressed and so on. With two of our three children living out of town now, and with two out of three having, or just having had, there first baby, I know they would be staying in closer contact with us if their mom were still here. I know there would be weekly, if not daily conversations between Carol and our kids. The kids have lost so much and this, I feel, is one thing that they, in particular, lose out on every day. Others in our lives have been wonderful and have helped to “stand in the gap” but no one can take the place of mom, even dad.
I’ve often had the thought that they, others, the whole world would be better off if she could have lived and I had died instead. Maybe that’s wallowing but I still have those feelings from time to time. I really feel Carol would have more to contribute relationship wise now than I have. More what ifs, I guess. . . I pray that I can somehow be the best dad/grandpa I can be for them at least. I pray that the Lord will show me how best to let them know they are not alone and I pray that He will keep showing them that they are loved and held and thought about even when they feel alone.
If you still have your mom, give her a call, often. Make sure she knows how much you love her.

““Mom”
I hadn’t said it in so long. When death takes your mother, it steals that word forever.”
- Mitch Albom for one more day

Hello Everybody

We are hoping this letter finds you well and feeling safely held in the hands of our Heavenly Father. Sorry that our “holiday” newsletter is arriving more like mid-January. 2011 was a very eventful year for us and December certainly continued the trend. Maybe this will start a new January tradition. . .
The year that was 2011 was indeed a full year, full of many blessings. It is hard to believe that this year already marked the five year anniversary of both Lisa and Fred becoming widowed. We are thankful everyday for the way our redemptive God has brought us together and continues to work to blend our families and the hearts of us all to be one big happy family.
2011 will always be memorable to us because of all the major events that took place throughout the year. Among other things, we’ve had kids graduate, get “big boy” jobs, get married, move away and have a baby; except for that moving away part, all very good things. As for Lisa and Fred, there have been no major changes in status. Our health seems to remain good, for which we are thankful. Lisa is still working a few days a week for Paddling.net and has just wrapped up a very busy holiday season with them. She continues to volunteer as a Kid’s Hope mentor impacting a little boy named Konnor in innumerable positive ways. She also finds the time to manage our household amazingly, while still cutting hair part time. Fred continues to work for Monsma Marketing. He was acknowledged at the recent company Christmas party for having been there for 20 years and counting. He volunteers at church as a sound tech and spent many hours this past year helping daughter Amy and son in law Pete gut and remodel their house. One memorable moment from the year for Fred was catching a “good sized” bass on our lake while trolling with his remote controlled boat. Fortunately, the boat eventually won the ensuing tug of war with the fish, but it was quite the epic struggle.
After a quiet January, February started with Kevin moving out of the nest and heading to Boulder, Co where he now lives. He is an avid climber and outdoor enthusiast and finds the mountains there irresistible. We think he finds his girlfriend Beth equally irresistible and with that combination he is absolutely thriving in Colorado. He is working for Boys and Girls Clubs of America and other part time jobs while continuing to look for a full time teaching position. We were happy to spend time with Kevin and Beth over the holidays as they took some time off to head back home for a week or so.
In February Lisa and Fred took a very enjoyable trip to Georgia to visit Fred’s daughter Sara and son in law Josh. Sara is a nurse in the Army Nurse Corp. She is currently an operating room nurse at Martin Army Community Hospital at Fort Benning. Josh works as a salesman and gunsmith at a retail gun store/firing range there in Columbus. While there we got a chance to explore Fort Benning and enjoyed day trips to Atlanta and some Civil War battlefields. We had a great time. The other exciting news from Sara and Josh is that they are expecting their first child in July of 2012. We get to be grand parents again, what a blessing! They were not able to join us for the holidays but we look forward to visiting them again in the warm(er) south this February and definitely again when the baby arrives.
Also in Feb. Fred’s son Matt was offered a fulltime position with Jimmy Johns (yes the freaky fast sandwich place) corporate office. He is a business coach/consultant for them. The job came at a great time for him and we are thankful for it but it did require him to move to the Chicago area. So of our six, Kev, Sara (and Josh), and Matt (and TJ) are the out of towners.
May was a milestone month for two more of our “clan”. Raidel Leon, Fred’s Cuban son, after much hard work and dedication, graduated from Calvin Theological Seminary. We were so very proud of him for completing his goal after moving to this country from Cuba in 2002. Raidel was then eligible for a call to any of the CRC denomination’s churches. Toward the end of the summer a call from Chandler CRC in Chandler MN was extended. Raidel and Marcy visited there and felt the Holy Spirit leading them to accept that call. On Labor Day weekend they packed up all their belongings and their precious, little cutie pie, 10 month old daughter, Celia, and moved to south west Minnesota. The Chandler church will learn how blest they are to have Radel and Marcy be a part of them. Along with Raidel and Marcy we were excited to learn that they are expecting their second child in May.
Bryan, Lisa’s middle child, also graduated in May. He received a BA degree in business from Calvin College. After working for a time at a marina in Holland, he was offered a paid internship at Gordon Food Service in Grand Rapids. He moved from one position there to another as it became obvious that they liked him and were trying to keep him until a full time position became available. In mid December his patience paid off as he was indeed offered such a position and began it at the start of Jan 2012. Bryan lived with us at Shore Way for much of the summer before joining some friends in renting a nice home in the city of Grand Rapids. He still enjoys basketball and plays any chance he gets.
Summers remain our favorite time of year. Since moving to Shore Way, we have enjoyed lakefront living. Almost every weekend we can be found hanging out on our beach with family and friends. Fishing, kayaking, swimming, campfires, fireworks, it’s all good. This summer also included the, once every three year, VanHarn reunion. For a week in July the VanHarns all gathered at a beautiful log cabin lodge on the Pine River. Great fishing, great food, great conversation, great times were had by all.
In September Fred and Lisa took another amazing trip. This time we went west. We were able to stop at Raidel and Marcy’s new home in Chandler. We went to church with them and met nearly everyone from their church. We then went on to the Black Hills area of S.D. and stayed in a KOA Kamping Kabin. It was kind of chilly but fun. We thoroughly enjoyed the area. Lisa particularly enjoyed all the up close encounters with the wildlife in Custer State Park. We then moved on to Boulder where we could see Kev’s apartment and meet his friends. We did some hiking and rock climbing with him and Beth and had an absolutely wonderful time. One of the emotional highlights was being there for a birthday party thrown for Kev by his CO friends. What a joy to see how he is so loved and how much he has become an integral part of people’s lives in the short time that he has been there.
Also in September Lisa’s youngest, Kelli, defined her future a little more clearly. She began as a student at Excel Academies of Cosmetology. She has taken to it with gusto. We are convinced she is a natural (of course she comes by it naturally). She has also taken to something (one) else with gusto. She and her boyfriend have been going together for nearly a year and seem to make a wonderful young couple. Kelli lives at home and so we see her and Alex a fair amount and that is a blessing.
November started out with another huge family event. Matt and TJ’s were married on Nov 5. They had been going together for some time so after Matt took his “big boy” job with JJs it didn’t take long before he popped the big question to TJ. Their wedding was great and we love TJ. It is a blessing to see who God brings into our circle through the relationships of our children. Matt and TJ live in Aurora Il so not too far from home but we still miss them. TJ works full time for a day care facility in their area.
Okay just so we can say December was the frosting on the cake; on December 21 we became grand parents!! Fred’s oldest, Amy and her hubby Pete had their peanut. Benjamin James was 9lb 15oz, 22 1/2 inches long and one of God’s most precious gifts. Mommy and Daddy are doing well and trying to take it all in along with the business of the holidays. Benjamin can enjoy his new bedroom because of all the hard work his mom and dad did on their house in 2011. In late 2010 Pete and Amy bought a “gut it, treat it for mold, and start over” type house in Cutlerville. They, with the help of others, worked on it for months and where able to move into it in the spring. We are very proud of them for the hard work they did. Amy is planning to be a stay at home mom and we are planning to be “spoil the grandkids” type grandparents.
Thank you for sticking with this long letter. I told you up front it was a full year. Hopefully you’ve noticed a theme. We feel extremely blessed. To have such great kids, to have such great relationships, to have each other, and to be held so dearly by our Father, we are blessed.
Our wish for you is that 2012 brings you much happiness and joy. May you see, in new ways, that we serve a God of Love and that His grace is sufficient for any thing that may come our way.

Love,
Fred and Lisa

Is it human nature or is it just me, why do I dwell so much on what I wish I had instead of what I have and on what I've lost instead of what I've gained?

Thank You Lord for what you've so graciously given me.

A little schmaltzy perhaps but this song from the early 70’s keeps coming to mind this week. . .

For Those Tears I Died

Words and Music by Marsha Stevens

You said You’d come and share all my sorrows,You said You’d be there for all my tomorrows;I came so close to sending You away,But just like You promised You came there to stay;I just had to pray!
And Jesus said, “Come to the water, stand by My side,I know you are thirsty, you won’t be denied;I felt ev’ry teardrop when in darkness you cried,And I strove to remind you that for those tears I died.”
Your goodness so great I can’t understand,And, dear Lord, I know that all this was planned;I know You’re here now, and always will be,Your love loosed my chains and in You I’m free;But Jesus, why me?
And Jesus said, “Come to the water, stand by My side,I know you are thirsty, you won’t be denied;I felt ev’ry teardrop when in darkness you cried,And I strove to remind you that for those tears I died.”
Jesus, I give You my heart and my soul,I know that without God I’d never be whole;Savior, You opened all the right doors,And I thank You and praise You from earth’s humble shores;Take me, I’m Yours.
And Jesus said, “Come to the water, stand by My side,I know you are thirsty, you won’t be denied;I felt ev’ry teardrop when in darkness you cried,And I strove to remind you that for those tears I died"

WRESTLING

“Wrestling with God is not a bad thing. It’s impossible to wrestle with someone who is far away from you. You can only wrestle someone who is close to you. Sometimes we interpret it as failure, but I think God sees it as intimacy.” (Stuff Christians Like Blog 1/30/2011)

I’m not sure how common this is with the younger folk these days. Does anyone remember when you were younger (a long time ago for this guy) when perhaps your dad or an annoying uncle or an older cousin would play a little “rough” with you. I remember times like that and they were fun but at times it could be frustrating too. I remember times when the “bigger” person would put his hand on the top of my head and hold me at arms length while I would stand there flailing about trying to reach him. Because my arms were shorter, I could swing like crazy but never make contact. The person being held would often want to stop in frustration while the holder would continue on thinking it was great sport. Sometimes it would be a good old, get on the floor, wrestling match. This was usually fun even when the older loved one who could “pin” you at any time but was just enjoying the play. I remember doing this with my kids too when they were younger and it was always in good fun.
Recently, I came across the above quote on a blog I enjoy reading. (Stuff Christians Like by Jon Acuff) and was struck by the point that we really only “wrestle” with those we love and are close to. (Unless you are into competitive wrestling, which is completely different and not what I’m referring to.)
I am familiar with wrestling with God. As, I’m sure, almost everyone is. In those most difficult times when we can’t figure it out, when we can’t figure God out, when things go wrong and seem so completely different from the way we would do it, we “wrestle” with God. Why, why me , why her! We get angry, we yell, we cry, we feel entirely helpless and sold out. I get the mental picture of God holding my head at arms length while I flail about swinging, kicking but never really reaching Him with my swings. I also see myself, when exhausted by the exercise, falling into the strong, soft, comfortable arms of God and receiving the biggest, lovingest (apparently that’s not a word, spell check didn’t like it, but I do so I’m leaving it in) hug I can imagine.
Many people have told me that it’s ok to be angry with God, that He has big shoulders and can take it. I think, as this quote states, it is more than that. I think God loves us so much He is pleased that as we struggle we take that struggle to Him. That indicates a level of dependence, of intimacy, that we simply do not have with someone we know really doesn’t care what we think. This verse from 1 Peter 5:7 comes to mind “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” Simply put God invites us to cast our burdens, struggles, complaints, anger right at Him because He cares for us, perfectly.
So I will try to remember that. When those things I feel are so wrong inevitably come my way, instead of pouting, having a snit and walking away from God, I pray that I will feel compelled to “wrestle” with my loving heavenly Father and that he will let me have it out with Him until I simply fall into His arms.
Forever Loved

2011


“. . . and don’t blame God, Pat. Death was never his idea. But life is. Please remember that. Life has always been his idea.” The Pawn – Steven James


2011 has arrived. Did you “stay up” as many do to see the clock turn to 12am on the eve of the New Year? It seems as if we stand at the doorway to greet the new arrival, hoping that if we are kind to it as it arrives maybe it, in turn, will be kind to us. After all, many of us have seen several (speaking of myself of course) of these new years come into our lives and with every one we say a little prayer asking for them to be kind. We hope and pray that each New Year will be filled with more blessings and less disasters.

Five years ago we did this very same ritual. When 2006 came to our doorway to join us, we prayed that it would be a blessed year. But for Phil and Lisa and their family and Carol and me and our family (and many others) 2006 was not kind at all. Five years ago today (January 5) Lisa’s husband Phil was taken to his eternal home where he is now with his Heavenly Father forevermore. Everything we know about Heaven tells us that it is an amazing place where our joy is complete, but I’m sure Phil would have preferred to have been allowed to spend a longer lifetime with his precious wife and his wonderful three children, all who were obviously his pride and joy.

Prior to 2006, I would say I didn’t know death. I wasn’t that familiar with it, not in an intimate way. After 2006 I would have to say that I am far too familiar with it. I hate it, it stinks, etc, etc. As Dad VH said, not so long ago, death is so disruptive. It takes a beautiful young family, with a future as bright as the stars and puts a big black hole in it. It changes every thing. Why God?? Why allow this?? Death almost always leads us to question God and his love.

Without getting real religious here trying to explain the why’s, I just want to say that God hates it too, probably more than we can imagine. I love this quote taken from a book I read some time ago. It hit me then as right on the mark, “. . . and don’t blame God, Pat. Death was never his idea. But life is. Please remember that. Life has always been his idea.” The Pawn – Steven James

I pray that whatever happens in 2011, a year sure to be filled with “arrivals and departures”, a year sure to be filled with good things and bad things, that I/you/we can remember that death and suffering were never God’s idea, that life and love and peace are. Phil, Carol and perhaps someone you have loved and lost know that to be true so much more so than those of us who “linger” here on earth.

Blessings to you in this year we call 2011. . .

Army Nurse Corps

My little girl is leaving. As many of you know my youngest daughter signed up for the Army Nurse Corps. She leaves for her initial training in a couple of days.

People have asked me how I feel about this. There are many emotions I feel. I think the prevailing one is that I am very proud of her. After the initial possibility of this pursuit came up, she and her husband thought and prayed hard about this and decided that this would/could be a very positive step for them and their lives together long term. I’m proud of them for the way they worked through this decision that hugely affects their lives in so many ways. It was not an easy choice I’m sure.

At the same time, with her moving so far away, I can easily let myself fall into the feeling that I am losing another very dear loved one. I know I am not “losing” her but she is going to be vary far from home. It has brought some of the grief of losing Carol back to mind. I am trying not to dwell on that. Sometimes I wonder if Sara’s decision might have played out differently if her mother was still here. Hypothetical. . .

As someone said, we as parents raise our children to spread their wings and fly, but when that happens we miss them being close and want to hold on. I know that this experience will change her, but that’s ok. This seems to be God’s plan for the path of her life. I believe He can use this experience to develop Sara into an even more incredible young lady.

“As a member of the Army Nurse Corps, you'll be given opportunities of a lifetime!” This is a quote from the Nurse Corps web site. I pray that this will be so for my precious daughter.

Stay strong, dear Sara, remember that you are loved by all who know you and especially your Heavenly Father.

OK one last entry regarding the book “SAILING BETWEEN THE STARS by Steven James

Following is an excerpt from where he has written about “joy”:

“There aren’t any easy answers to the big questions that haunt us and hunt us down. Friends commit suicide. Grandparents die awkwardly and alone in nursing homes. We get fired. We have affairs. Our kids get hooked on drugs. Time and gravity wear is down as we travel across this vale of tears.
Yet when we have hope, we have refuge. I like how Paul put it: “We do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians 4:16 NIV). Or, as Eugene Peterson paraphrases it in The Message, “we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace.” And grace is always stronger than my circumstances.
Every day we’re both wasting away and being renewed. When God’s Spirit moves, joy is reborn, and our lives, once new, can continually be renewed through faith and the promises of faith.
Here is what I have to keep reminding myself: pain is real, but so is joy. Every moment, hope is available. Even now peace can be mine. And the sparkling moments of joy that make life worth living are just as much a part of our world as the speeding tickets and funerals. When you take the time to look at both sides of the equation, you realize that life is both more depressing and more delightful that you thought.”

Then later he writes:

There is a heaviness to the lightness of Christianity, a somberness to the joy, a depth to the levity, because for every Easter there is a Good Friday.” . . . “Christians are enmeshed in a terrible, glorious, light and airy, deep and troubling joy”

James states it far better than I could ever hope to but what strikes me is that in the midst of tears and loss and pain and struggles it is possible and even Biblical to have and experience joy. That is an amazing aspect of Christianity that I think is very profound.

Back to the book “SAILING BETWEEN THE STARS” by Steven James

In one section of his book James tells the story of randomly meeting someone in a bookstore and during conversation the other man shared this word picture.

“I picture a quiet lake, and in the lake there’s a boat that’s tied to the dock. That’s all you see at first. But then, when you move back from the picture, you see that the dock isn’t attached to the shore. It’s floating out there in the middle of the lake along with the boat. That’s our society. We’ve tied our lives to the dock, but the dock isn’t tied to anything.”

I’ve been thinking about this concept (dare I say “truth”) lately. When storms inevitably come our way, we are tested. The cliché is “will your anchor hold?”. I think for many of us, we think we are anchored but it turns out our boat is tied to the dock but the dock isn’t tied (anchored) to anything solid. Many of us too easily accept what we are told or even what we are taught without taking the time or effort of “learning” for our selves about the truths of the Bible. I think this is pretty common among our youth, but it is certainly not limited to any age group. “I go to church, my parents have told me this stuff so I guess that must be what I think also“ etc. But when the temptations come, when peer pressure hits, or the storms come, without solid mooring we are adrift.

My hope for you is that your dock is also tied down, solidly. And that you are working to keep it that way.

2 TIMOTHY. 2: 19

TWO YEARS AND COUNTING

Monday the 8th was a day much like any other for Lisa and me. Off to work for both of us. In the evening she had people over for hair appointments and I had volleyball as is the case on most Mondays. But this Monday the 8th of Feb. was a very special day. It marked our two year anniversary. God is good! God bringing Lisa and me together after the devastation that happened in our lives is a gift I am thankful for everyday.

While Monday was pretty normal, our weekend was very special.

Lately Lisa has been reading a lot of books based on the lives of Amish folk. This has peaked her interest in them as a people. Their beliefs, customs, way of life, etc. are something that has intrigued her for some time now. So we decided to take our little overnight, anniversary get away down in Northern Indiana in the heart of one of the largest Amish populations in the country. We had a great time. It’s hard to beat an anniversary dinner at the Das Dutchman Essenhaus. The weather was decent and lots of horse and buggies were observed.

Again, thank you to those of you who keep our blended families in your prayers.
Don’t forget to let your loved ones know how much they are LOVED.

AGATHOKAKOLOGICAL

In my last post I mentioned the author Stephen James and his book Sailing Between The Stars. This is a non fiction work that tells of some of the mysteries of faith from his perspective. I also stated that there would likely be more posts that make reference to this book.

So here is one.

A while back on my facebook status I put --word of the day is “agathokakological”. I though some of my “friends” might be curious enough about that word to inquire into its meaning. No one did, perhaps proving that facebook users don’t care what “friends” write in their status boxes. Or more likely no one cares what I write in mine. Which is ok for me to say because I not so sure anyone reads these posts either. (I digress).

Any way, agathokakological is a term used to express that something, or someone, me, has within them the capacity for good and evil, more literally “consisting of both good and evil”. This paradox of humans being both good and evil is one of the main themes in James’ book.

Following is an excerpt from Chapter one:

"We’re from below and above, bestial and celestial, children of the earth and offspring of the stars. We are an odd race capable of both martyrdom and murder, poetry and rape, worship and abortion. And Christianity explains why: we are both the Spirit-breathed children of God and the expelled rebels of the kingdom…We’ve all listened to the snake. Yet we’re also children of the Father.”

So is this comforting or unsettling? Does this explain a lot or give us an excuse? I guess it’s good to know I am not that different or worse than anyone else, that this condition seems to be part of the “human condition”. But, paradoxically (cool word), it is also sad to know that I have the same evil in me that inhabits the “worst” sociopaths of our world. I’m most certainly no better than anyone else.

So much to think about. . .

Good book. . . I know I will have to write more.

BOOKS

I like to read. It’s really not a love, it’s more of a like or maybe a “strong” like. I know of people that “love” to read. I’m not quite there. At some times, however, right after I’ve finished a book and before I can come up with another to read, there is definitely a feeling of loneliness; something is missing and I am always pretty anxious to find another “good read” as soon as possible.
The other thing about those who “love” to read is (it seems) they read more “meaningful” books than I do. For the most part, I read fiction/novels; I generally have a hard time sticking with most non-fiction books. That’s probably not a good thing as the non-fiction books are generally considered the “self-improvement” types. So I guess I’m missing out on improving myself. . .
One of the cool things that happens when you like to read is randomly coming across a new author, previously unknown to you. I have my long time favorites, Michener (#1), Follett, Iles, Grisham, Cussler, Baldacci and a few others. Recently I stumbled across a few new (to me) ones . Joseph Finder (he actually has one set around the office furniture industry in West Michigan) and Harlen Coben are a couple of my new favorites. There is one more that I am really enjoying right now. His name is Steven James (stevenjames.net). He is a Christian.
There was a review in our denominational magazine of one of his novels and it sounded like I might enjoy it. I gave it a try and am now hooked. THE PAWN, The Rook and The Knight are the three books in the series (best read in order) I am currently devouring. He is a Christian author that isn’t afraid to write about real life evil, but there is a value to everyone in his books, the good guys and the bad. On my facebook page a while back I posted a word of the day “agathokakological”. I thought that was a pretty cool word. It means “consisting of both good and evil”. That is a good description of our human condition. It is kind of at the root of James’ novels.
Steven James has also written some non-fiction books about his faith. I recently picked up SAILING BETWEEN THE STARS. He calls it “musings on the mysteries of faith”. I am totally enjoying it. He points out the ironies and paradoxes that are so much a part of Christian faith (excerpt- “Here, death is the beginning of life, foolishness is the pathway to wisdom, the meek conquer the strong, a lamb tramples a snake, and the almighty Creator of galaxies has a belly button.”) This book is full of stories and thoughts that spark thoughts in my (deteriorating) brain.
I am thinking a few of these thoughts are going to show up here in my blog in the future.
You might want to give this author a try.

Ups and Downs
Once again I am struck by the ups and downs, good and bad, even life and death that come our way.
With our blended family, we have had the privilege of participating in five family Christmas celebrations. While it is somewhat stressful and causes a lot of busyness, I consider it a joy. How can a "celebration" be a bad thing, right? Amongst these holiday gatherings, we have also been blessed to attend two weddings. One of them being my oldest daughter, Amy. Wahoo Amy and Pete. What a joy, a gift, to give my daughter's hand in marriage to a fine young man like Pete. As I've said many times in the last few weeks "it's all good".
In the midst of our celebrating, though, comes the reminder that this life is flawed, that this world is stained. On Monday, the 28th, it would have been Lisa and Phil's 25th wedding anniversary. Marking points such as those are still difficult. Despite all efforts to try to keep one's mind from "going there", it still does. Lisa and I had a meaningful evening of reminiscing. We watched a video of their 20th anniversary trip to Hawaii and also a video of Bryan's speech at his high school chapel during his senior year. It was a speech in which he remembered the day his father died and his journey since that day that has lead to a deeper faith in Jesus as his Lord and Savior.
Then yesterday, as we were preparing to leave for our last Christmas party of the season, we got a call from one of Carol's brothers. Bill and Susan were also attending this party, as it was a gathering of that arm of the family. One of Susan's sisters had been told that she had cancer just about one month ago. She was determined to fight it. Bill and Susan received the bad news that she had passed away yesterday afternoon, just hours before our party. Another young widow, another motherless family, another family missing a dear sister, aunt, daughter. It's so wrong!
That's why we need Christmas. That's why we need a Savior like Jesus. That's why we need someone with the power to save. . . someone to make it alright.
Please pray for the family of Susan's sister as they start the new year with very sad hearts and a hole in their lives that only the Holy Spirit can fill.

A HOME OF OUR OWN
Oh boy! Our Shoreway house is almost complete. There are a few things that need to be done yet but for the most part ….
We can’t wait.
As with many blended families/households our housing situation has been in flux for too long. Lisa and I knew, before we were married, that we had to address the issue of housing. Thank goodness that God places people in my life with more wisdom than I have the horsepower to muster on my own. Lisa helped me see that the best situation would be to sell both of our homes and get something that we could call ours. To have one spouse move into the home of the other in our situation just did not seem like a long term, healthy situation. As many of you know Lisa and her family have moved three times since Phil died. When we move into Shoreway it will be their fourth. We have boxes that they have not opened since moving out of their Woodsboro home in 2006.
When we were married in Feb of 08, Lisa and Kelli moved in with me in the home I had owned for nearly 28 yrs. We began working toward fixing things up sufficiently for selling, but that took time. Understandably that time period was difficult for Lisa. It’s way past time for Lisa and her kids have a place that they can settle into, a place to call home.
Even before we were married we started going through open houses just to get an idea of what might be available and what we may like to look for in a house. At that time we never imagined building a new house. We continued to look throughout the first half of 2008 and in some houses we would like some things and other things in other houses. We never really found one that we really cared to pursue.
Through a series of events we decided to consider building. We found a lot in a nice, new sub-division that a builder wanted to sell, badly. He made us an offer we couldn’t refuse and … here we are. The process has been interesting, at times stressful. We have always been excited about the progress and now the move in date is very near! A new start, in a new home, built on love and grace, is a gift.
We have felt tremendous support during our sojourn from all of you who have kept Lisa and me and our families in your thoughts and prayers. We can not thank you enough. We ask for continued prayer that our new home, Lisa’s and mine, will be a home where the love of God is always present and all who walk through the doors are as blessed as we have been.
Psalm 127:1

DIS-GRACED
Sometimes, it seems, life is full of so many questions. Lately I have been thinking a lot about grace. As a “lifelong” Christian I understand grace. I understand how “amazing” it is. I think I have a good grasp of the concept.
My question is why do I feel so “disgraced” at times? Why do I feel that at different times something quite the opposite of grace is at work in my life? Does grace ebb and flow, increase and decrease? Is grace given then reneged upon? What does it mean to “fall from grace”? Do things I say, do or think cause this (perceived) retraction of grace? If so then was it ever “grace”…? Do I have to earn grace? Is it right for a Christian to assume grace?
I’ve come to believe that grace, God’s grace, is very foundational to my faith. I am constantly aware that I cannot earn love, salvation, Kingdom consideration, without grace. So what happens to faith when that foundation seams to dissolve? Inevitably it gets shaky.
I remember a poster that I had on my bedroom wall as a teen. It showed a chess board with one of the king game pieces on its normal spot and the only other piece on the board was a pawn, many spaces away. The caption said “if you no longer feel close to God, guess who moved”. I know God is constant. His love is constant. I know He is the same one true God yesterday, today and forever. I know that throughout history He has loved and lavished grace on others just as reject able as me. That gives me hope.
Recently, I have come across the following excerpt from a sermon by Lewis Smedes.
“Well, what's so terrific about grace? I’ll tell you. I'll tell you one thing: for me, it gives me courage and confidence to know that the Maker of the Universe is on my side and that the Judge of the whole world accepts me just the way I am, with all my blots and blemishes. The bad with the good all mixed together. He accepts me, all of me, with no strings attached.
Without the grace of God, I think I’d be haunted by a brooding, guilty conscience about some of the harmful things I’ve said and done in my lifetime. But with the grace of God, I can look myself straight in the eyes and say to myself: "Nothing bad you have ever done can get God to reject you." And nothing can get God to accept you more willingly than he accepts you right now.
Some days when we get sick and tired of trying to be good enough to be acceptable to other people, fed up with trying to make sure people like us and accept us, God's grace just may slip inside our ears and whisper to our hearts: "You are already accepted. You are accepted. You’re accepted. And you will never, never be rejected." That, that is what is so amazing about grace.”
I know this is true. I will try to live as one accepted, never to be rejected, a “child” of God!
2 Corinthians 12:9

“The Shack”
I had heard a little about this book titled The Shack and it sounded like something I would like to read so I included it on my Christmas list. Sure enough, I did receive it as a gift, and am now reading it. My guess is that many of you have already read it. It is very thought provoking, particularly regarding the nature of our triune God.
I am not a swift reader and am not able to spend a lot of time reading so I cover only a few pages each day. In this book, on nearly every page, I have found words that are profound to me. As I read them I find myself thinking that I would like to explore certain concepts the author touches on and possibly write about them. But these days, it seems, writing doesn’t come as naturally to me and there is simply less time to do that sort of thing (and that’s ok, I’m not complaining).
One thing, though, that I’ve read recently is kind of sticking with me. In one of the passages the character representing God the Father tells the main (human) character that “life is a process not an event”. For some reason that phrase keeps floating around in my head. I’m not sure why it hits me so profoundly. It may be because of all the “processing” (could make a reference to being in a food processor here but that would be a little melodramatic) that has occurred in my life in the last few years.
We sometimes think of our life, our time on this planet, as an event, I think. Maybe it’s that we look at our lives as a series of events. We merely go from one thing to the next as time goes on and “that’s life”. I have come to understand that a series of events does not equal a process. A process can be defined as a series of actions but with a purpose. A process implies a change or on going developments, with growth and improvement as a result. Maybe the wise among us learn this very early on in life. Maybe for some of us it takes a little more time, like a “process”.
I am thankful that we are not alone in this life long process. I am thankful that the creator of this universe is with us every step. I am thankful that He loves us unconditionally, even when we screw up big time. If we allow Him to lead us, if we will follow, if I will slow down enough to listen, the process of healing, of redemption, of sanctification can continue more effectively.

ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY
God is good! This Sunday, the 8th, is our first anniversary. Lisa and I have so much to be thankful for. Some time ago I wrote about how our lives are like jigsaw puzzles and we work throughout our lives to complete the picture that God intended when he created the pieces. Along the way we lose pieces so the picture has to change. In this past year, Lisa and I have been striving to make something beautiful from the “puzzle pieces” that remain in our lives. Some pieces seem to fit together more effortlessly than others, but, I believe, God is continuing to make a beautiful “picture” in our lives.
Thank you to all of you who have supported us in the past in so many ways. We ask you to keep lifting our family up in prayer as we continue to work at getting our pieces to fit into one, pleasant, and fulfilling picture.

Friday Night
Something that I think about often is how life all fits together. Maybe I am learning more about this as I age. Maybe I see things a little more in the rear view mirror (as my rear view mirror grows larger every day). I see how things from the past, choices, events, relationships, etc. continue to “ripple” into the future. Some of those things are not necessarily good things. Bad choices continue to have unwanted consequences. But there are so many good things that, by God’s grace, have happened to me in the past that I can still enjoy the blessings of them now as life goes on. One such time of enjoyment was this past Friday night.
Raidel is a young man from Cuba who came to live for a time with our family. He came to us in 2002 and continues to live in the area while attending seminary. I consider him my "Cuban son". He is married now and he and his wife look forward to working in God’s kingdom wherever they are called. Raidel had to basically leave his family behind when he made the decision to study in the US. He has been back to Cuba for visits but those are brief and few.
Because of the circumstances, I never anticipated that I would ever have the opportunity to meet Raidel’s parents. That has changed this winter as both Raidel’s mother and father are here visiting. This past Friday, Lisa and I had the pleasure of taking Raidel, Marcy and Raidel’s Mom and Dad to DeWitt to visit my Mom. She and my sister made a fantastic meal (as usual) and we had a great time. The blessing was in seeing my Mom and Raidel’s Mom bond. Even though they could not understand any thing the other was saying because of the language barrier, they seemed to connect as Godly, Christian mothers. Raidel’s parents were so happy to finally express their appreciation for our family’s care and nurturing of Raidel. His Dad made special mention of wanting to meet and express thanks to the family/parents of the persons that had become loving parents to Raidel. It was very moving. It was a meaningful, memorable, moment in time.
Anyway, I thank God for giving us the courage to step up in the past when maybe it would be easier to take a different path. To be bold in our faith, to step out of our comfort zone, to challenge our “laziness” is to allow God to work in such a way that years into the future we can still be blessed by the ramifications of our good deeds. I can only imagine what I have missed in my life by refusing to obey and follow in those circumstances where God has tried leading in my life.