My last post was written on what would have been Carol's birthday. Birthdays are generally associated with gifts. Below is a "poem" I wrote at about 4 1/2 months out about a gift that was given to me by God or Carol(or maybe both) about 10 days after she died.

“You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday”
Unknown

A Gift

(9-2006 4 ½ months)

Ten days have past
Since we last talked
I told her she was getting better
Her heart was getting stronger
I guess I lied, but that’s what I was told

Ten days now lost and alone
Wondering what I will do without her
Wondering what our kids will do without her
How do we go on
So many “never agains”

Some call them ADCs
After Death Communications
We long to hear a word
From our loved one
The void is so enormous

Ten nights have past
Without dreams of her
Then, one night I have a dream
An ADC? maybe,
Merely my sub-conscious? maybe

She came to me, In our home
She told me she was fine
She missed us, that we would be OK
We hugged, a long, last hug
And she said good bye

There have been other dreams since
Some I remember and cherish
Many I have forgotten
That first one, I believe,
Was God’s Gift.