“LIFE INTERUPTED”

I enjoy reading. I have read many books written to help with the grieving process and I have continued to read good old fiction novels as well. I recently finished reading a non-fiction book about the journey of three young men traveling north across the continent of Africa on motorcycles. The title is The Only Road North by Erik Mirandette. It tells a very incredible story. I highly recommend reading it if you get the chance. Briefly, this is the story: Erik, his just out of high school brother, Alex, and one of Erik’s friends, all of them very young, started in Capetown, South Africa and drove motocross bikes north some 5000 miles over the coarse of 4 months. They endured all kinds of adventures and made it to Cairo, Egypt. While sightseeing in a market in Cairo a suicide bomber blew himself up right near the boys. The explosion killed Erik’s brother, Alex.

That is why I think this book is noteworthy. As many of us know who have lost someone very dear to us, we long so much to have that person back. We spend days, months, years, always remembering. We never want to forget. We question why, what did I do to cause this. We think what could I have done differently that could have saved our loved one. As one who has recently been through the loss of a dear loved one, I can feel the pain in each word that Erik has written in this book. Erik offers no “pat” answers, only painful questions when talking about his brother’s death.

Following are a couple of excerpts from the book:
When talking about how he, himself should have died from his injuries, but survived them he says “But we are so much more than the air we breathe. A person needs more than just a heartbeat. He needs a purpose, he needs faith, he needs to know that he is not alone. I cannot figure out why God would protect the shell in which I reside but leave me completely alone when I need him the most. For the months of recovery following the explosion I try to pray to God but my prayers are nothing more than an empty voice echoing inside my head. Eventually I stop.”
This one is part of a conversation he had with a friend of his after he was back home and trying to get on with life “My fear is not that God doesn’t exist. I know God exists. My fear is that there is more to His nature than justice, peace, love and joy. Is it unreasonable to describe God as cruel, unjust, partial, fickle, egocentric . . .?” “If not, then what is there to differentiate heaven and hell? Nothing is certain, and no amount of thought will resolve my dilemmas. Thinking just leads me deeper down the tunnel, unleashing more doubts, calling more of what I know into question.”

I guess I am writing about this because these are the same feelings that most all of us have felt at some time in our life. If you have felt this way or perhaps going through something similar right now, know that you are not alone. These feelings are natural. When people we love suffer, and lose the battle to stay in this world, the pain is incredible. Time helps but it doesn’t heal. As with any deep wound, healing comes from within but the scars remain. I had a very dear Uncle who was near death at the time of Carol’s funeral. He made the 200 mile trip because I was like one of his own sons. His funeral was two months later. At Carol’s funeral he told me to look at his hand. It had a large scar on it. He said that was from an ice fishing spear accident form some 65 years earlier. The wound healed but he had the scar the rest of his life. But God is a God of Grace, just keep trusting!

So true.