The one year anniversary of Dad’s death will be here in a couple of days. I have been thinking about that more recently than I have in the last several months. It seems that, in my case, losing my spouse to death has preempted losing my Father. I suppose that’s natural. Dad was buried on the Wednesday before the Monday I took Carol to the hospital. Lately I’ve been thinking “Have I grieved for my Dad enough?” How does one grieve for two people simultaneously?
My Dad was 81, just a couple of weeks from his 82nd birthday, when he died. He had some significant health problems for many years. We were happy that he lived as long and as well as he did. We considered it a gift from a faithful God. Most of the time Dad was compliant, not ornery; he was funny, not depressed; he was content, not restless: he was faithful to his God, wife, and family, never closing us out. He was gracious and appreciated the help that was offered him. In the later years he knew he could not care for himself and accepted help with dignity. His wit and humor, while sometimes embarrassing, were always entertaining. He modeled faithfulness and aging well and taught so many other lessons to all of us who knew him and loved him.
Mom and I have talked many times in the last year about how, while we miss Dad tremendously, it was really his time. There is no arguing with God about His timing with Dad. We have both questioned God’s timing regarding Carol’s death but Dad was at the end of many years. We all still miss him. When a parent is no longer living there are so many times you’re just wanting to call and talk to them, or when you stop by their home, you expect them to be sitting in their usual chair. You still want to hear those same stories about being in Italy during WWII, etc.
Like a quote from one of the books I’ve read says, “Death is the Devil’s calling card”. It will get us all sooner or later. It remains a tremendous comfort knowing that death is not final. Love conquered death. The devil has no answer to Christ’s ultimate sacrifice. We will see our loved ones again. The circle will be unbroken. We do not know who those already in heaven will greet next but they are there and will most definitely greet whoever it is.
Dad, we miss you! Mom you’ve been so brave.
You are both forever loved.