DIS-GRACED
Sometimes, it seems, life is full of so many questions. Lately I have been thinking a lot about grace. As a “lifelong” Christian I understand grace. I understand how “amazing” it is. I think I have a good grasp of the concept.
My question is why do I feel so “disgraced” at times? Why do I feel that at different times something quite the opposite of grace is at work in my life? Does grace ebb and flow, increase and decrease? Is grace given then reneged upon? What does it mean to “fall from grace”? Do things I say, do or think cause this (perceived) retraction of grace? If so then was it ever “grace”…? Do I have to earn grace? Is it right for a Christian to assume grace?
I’ve come to believe that grace, God’s grace, is very foundational to my faith. I am constantly aware that I cannot earn love, salvation, Kingdom consideration, without grace. So what happens to faith when that foundation seams to dissolve? Inevitably it gets shaky.
I remember a poster that I had on my bedroom wall as a teen. It showed a chess board with one of the king game pieces on its normal spot and the only other piece on the board was a pawn, many spaces away. The caption said “if you no longer feel close to God, guess who moved”. I know God is constant. His love is constant. I know He is the same one true God yesterday, today and forever. I know that throughout history He has loved and lavished grace on others just as reject able as me. That gives me hope.
Recently, I have come across the following excerpt from a sermon by Lewis Smedes.
“Well, what's so terrific about grace? I’ll tell you. I'll tell you one thing: for me, it gives me courage and confidence to know that the Maker of the Universe is on my side and that the Judge of the whole world accepts me just the way I am, with all my blots and blemishes. The bad with the good all mixed together. He accepts me, all of me, with no strings attached.
Without the grace of God, I think I’d be haunted by a brooding, guilty conscience about some of the harmful things I’ve said and done in my lifetime. But with the grace of God, I can look myself straight in the eyes and say to myself: "Nothing bad you have ever done can get God to reject you." And nothing can get God to accept you more willingly than he accepts you right now.
Some days when we get sick and tired of trying to be good enough to be acceptable to other people, fed up with trying to make sure people like us and accept us, God's grace just may slip inside our ears and whisper to our hearts: "You are already accepted. You are accepted. You’re accepted. And you will never, never be rejected." That, that is what is so amazing about grace.”
I know this is true. I will try to live as one accepted, never to be rejected, a “child” of God!
2 Corinthians 12:9