Friday, February 10, 2012


I love my mom. My family and I are extremely blest to have mom, now nearly 89 years old, still with us. Some other time I intend to write a nice tribute to mom and how much she’s meant to all of us for so many years but today I just have one simple thought (basically all my thoughts are simple). That is how much I take being able to talk to my mom for granted. I try to call her at least once a week and we try to get to see her two or three times a month but heaven knows I should call her more often. I know that when she hears from any of us it brightens her day immensely. My excuse often is that by the time I can call it’s too late in the day, or it’s been so busy that the week day/nights fly by, etc. The thing that I think I’m missing in all of this is how much I need to talk to mom too. After talking to her I feel better too. She’s still my mom and I’m still her little Freddy.
So here’s the thing I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. My children don’t have this opportunity any more. They can’t call their mom and talk. Every time I think of this fact I get angry, sad, depressed and so on. With two of our three children living out of town now, and with two out of three having, or just having had, there first baby, I know they would be staying in closer contact with us if their mom were still here. I know there would be weekly, if not daily conversations between Carol and our kids. The kids have lost so much and this, I feel, is one thing that they, in particular, lose out on every day. Others in our lives have been wonderful and have helped to “stand in the gap” but no one can take the place of mom, even dad.
I’ve often had the thought that they, others, the whole world would be better off if she could have lived and I had died instead. Maybe that’s wallowing but I still have those feelings from time to time. I really feel Carol would have more to contribute relationship wise now than I have. More what ifs, I guess. . . I pray that I can somehow be the best dad/grandpa I can be for them at least. I pray that the Lord will show me how best to let them know they are not alone and I pray that He will keep showing them that they are loved and held and thought about even when they feel alone.
If you still have your mom, give her a call, often. Make sure she knows how much you love her.

I hadn’t said it in so long. When death takes your mother, it steals that word forever.”
- Mitch Albom for one more day

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