Proud Papa

In the nearly twenty-nine years that Carol and I were married we were blessed with three beautiful babies. I believe that there is no greater joy that can come to a couples life that the birth of a child, the personification of their love. Our children have always been the focal point of our lives and the memories of their years are far more precious than gold.
These beautiful, precious babies that God entrusted to us are now emerging adults. They remain gifts from God to me. They are indeed temples of Christ, created in God’s image. In the past year+ they have been by my side steadfastly. We have continued to be a family. I believe the saying “home is where the Mom is” to be true but with the help and support of Amy, Sara and Matt, our house has remained a home. They have been responsible for bringing laughter, joy, friends, entertainment, drama and many other positive elements into my life this past year. They, each, have helped make healing possible for each other and me.
They are each so wonderfully talented. Amy has the gifts of music, organization, generosity, wisdom and more. Sara has gifts in music, wisdom, compassion, thoughtfulness and more. Matt is gifted in music, athletics, humor, intelligence and more. Perhaps you noticed the common thread of musical gifts. That’s a legacy from their mother. Music was, and still is, a very integral part of our lives.
Why am I writing about this now?
This past weekend I had the opportunity of seeing both the Friday and Saturday performance of the Caledonia Community Players production of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. I must say I am beaming with pride. Amy and Matt were both essential performers in this production.
This is the fourth musical Amy has done with CCP. She accompanies all the vocal rehearsals and the performances on the piano. Her commitment to hours and hours of practice is amazing. As always she did an amazing job. BRAVO AMY!
After auditioning for his first show with CCP, Matt was given the role of the Beast. I believe that to be quite an accomplishment for his first step into Community Theater. He has worked very hard at being prepared. Singing, dancing, acting, flying, kissing, are a few of the talents needed for this role. He did a great job. BRAVO MATT!
How I wish with all my heart that Carol would be here to see her children grow. How I wish she could see them using their talents and spreading their wings and becoming the persons God created them to be. She would be the proudest Mama in the world, as I am the proudest Papa!

Over the past 13 months I have done a lot of reading. There are a few quotes that, I think, are notable. At different points of time all have been profound to me.

QUOTES

“when I look in the mirror all I see is sadness”
- Young widow bulletin board

“You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday”
Unknown

“Death is the devil’s calling card” Bob DeVries

“Those who suffer loss live suspended between a past for which they long and a future for which they hope. “ A GRACE DISGUISED Gerald L. Sittser

It’s better to have loved… is not working for me.Why, if only to be given so fiercely, and then taken away.
Donna Michele Hill

"The act of living is different all through. Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything." C.S. Lewis

"They told me one day I would go twenty-four hours without thinking of my loss. I told them they were crazy.” Barbara Baumgardner

The worst thing about being a widow/er is the loss of love….When you have a great marriage, it becomes something that goes far beyond friendship. It's having someone who knows you.
Tamsenita

If you're going through hell, just keep going." - Winston Churchilll

““Mom”
I hadn’t said it in so long. When death takes your mother, it steals that word forever.”
- Mitch Albom for one more day

"Just give it time," people say. That is misleading. Time alone will not heal your grief.” – Greifshare.org

"I can't speak for the rest of you, but I feel like a different person. I'm not afraid of death or injury anymore.
I'm not afraid of failing or looking stupid. I don't take my career goals, money or my possessions as seriously,
and I don't take the people I love for granted." Tamsenita

“The range of things you need to grieve for may surprise you. Identify your losses and be prepared to grieve for each one.” – Greifshare.org

Along the Road
I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way.But left me none the wiser for all she had to say.I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne’er a word said she;But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!
- Robert Browning

“Keep your heart right, even when it is sorely wounded” Unknown

The sweetest lesson I have learned in God's school is to let the Lord choose for me.- Dwight L. Moody

"Weep freely; share your anguish, your deep concern, but always with the joyful assurance that Jesus is with you. The Prince of Peace is with you, " - Dr. Bill Bright.

“Remember the good times; cherish the memories, but live each day moving forward. Focus your thoughts on what is before you and how you are going to get there.” – Greifshare.org

“Should God place you on the anvil, be thankful. It means he thinks you’re still worth reshaping” -Max Lucado

“If you are no one's significant other, does that render you
insignificant?” -Tansinita

“Pain is inevitable, Misery is optional” – Barbara Johnson

Who Am I

It’s been thirteen months
-since Carol was led to glory
-since our children became Motherless
-since I became a widower

Sometimes I feel like an old man
-lonely
-remembering better times
-longing for Heaven

Sometimes I feel like a young man
-plenty of life ahead
-excited for the future
-longing for companionship

Mostly I don’t feel like a middle aged man
-self-confident
-secure
-content

Who am I



In the musical Les Miserables, the character Jean Valjean asks the question “Who am I?”
These words are from that song:
“My soul belongs to God, I know
I made that bargain long ago
He gave me hope when hope was gone
He gave me strength to journey on”

This I know, I will trust God for what I don't know.